Forget about the Crocodile Hunter, no need to send a video application to The Dog Whisperer, don’t even bother with Sea World, and lose those Fabio/tiger trainers in Las Vegas…. I can beat them all. In fact, I suppose I might be the best critter trainer on earth. Sure, those guys interact with wild, undomesticated predators of the Apex sort, but I do that every day with our little brother. No, what I’m talking about is so much cooler than wrangling some squirming reptile with massive teeth, or confronting a mammal 1000 times your size in an unfit environment. No no, I’m talking about teaching a domestic creature with medium IQ how to operate human technology to control their environment – this weekend I finally taught our pet how to use the control unit. For several years now I hoped he could learn how to use the air temperature control unit on his own, so I would regularly suppose he was comfortable when I left him at home. When I go to task all day long I worry that this sweet, loyal, regal, stupid critter would be cold because he didn’t understand how to keep himself warm. I was regularly scared that he would be cold and shivering, alone and scared while I sat in traffic trying to get home. At one point I even had a smart control unit installed so I could watch him though our Nest camera for signs of discomfort. This extra control unit resulted in realizing he looks the same whether he’s cold or comfortable, and getting reprimanded at our task for looking at our phone too much as I adjusted the furnace! Clearly, there was one option; teach our pet to use the control unit himself. I’m not even uneasy that our energy bill is going to be through to woof this week.