Forget about the Crocodile Hunter, no need to send a video application to The Dog Whisperer, don’t even bother with Sea World, plus lose those Fabio/tiger trainers in Las Vegas…. I can beat them all. In fact, I think I might be the best creature trainer on earth. Sure, those guys interact with wild, undomesticated predators of the Apex sort, however I do that every day with my little sister. No, what I’m talking about is so much cooler than wrangling some squirming reptile with large teeth, or confronting a mammal 1000 times your size in an unfit environment. No no, I’m talking about teaching a domestic creature with medium IQ how to operate human technology to control their environment – this weekend I finally taught my dog how to use the temperature control. For several years now I hoped she could learn how to use the air temperature control device on her own, so I would always think she was comfortable when I left him at home. When I go to work all day long I worry that this sweet, loyal, regal, stupid creature would be cold because she didn’t understand how to keep himself warm. I was always scared that she would be cold plus shivering, alone plus scared while I sat in traffic trying to get home. At 1 point I even had a smart temperature control installed so I could watch him though our Nest camera for signs of discomfort. This extra temperature control resulted in realizing she looks the same whether he’s cold or comfortable, plus getting reprimanded at my task for looking at my cellphone too much as I adjusted the furnace! Clearly, there was 1 option; teach my dog to use the temperature control himself. I’m not even exasperated that my energy bill is going to be through to woof this month.